Do Men and Women React Differently to Stress?

When I speak to groups about emotional intelligence, and the amygdala hijack reaction to stress, someone always asks, “Do men and woman react differently to stress?” There really is not a solid answer to this question. Most of the research on leadership and emotional intelligence points to the fact that male and female leaders equally lose control of their emotions at times, it is derailing for any leader and every person in a leadership position can use some development in the self management quadrant of emotional intelligence.

Upon reading The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, an interesting theory comes to light. It is true that both sexes experience a powerful flood of chemicals and hormones when they come under acute stress, preparing them to meet the demands of an imminent threat. These chemicals, once released, take different pathways in the male and female brain. This hormone cascade seems to make men spring into action. The pathways that the hormones follow are closely connected to brain areas for physical action in the male brain. This same flood of chemicals follows another pathway in woman. - One that closely follows cognitive, emotional, and verbal pathways. This indicates woman may want to talk about what they are thinking and feeling when they are under stress. Sound familiar?

Adapting to stress:
From a theoretic and historical point of view, Brizendine hypothesizes that females have had to adapt differently to the stress induced flight or fight response. Females are generally less able to run when they're pregnant, nursing, or caring for a child. Research has found that female mammals under stress rarely abandon their infants once they form maternal bonds. As a result, females appear to have some stress responses in addition to fight or flight that allow them to protect themselves and their dependent children. One of these responses is likely a strong reliance on social ties. Females in a bonded social group are more likely to come to one another's aid when in a threatening or stressful situation. Members of the group can alert one another to conflict ahead of time, enabling them to move away from potential danger so that they can continue to safely tend to dependent children. This pattern of behavior is termed
" tend and befriend” and it may be a particularly female strategy. Tending involves nurturing the activities that promote safety and reducing the stress for self and others. Befriending is the creation and maintenance of social networks that aid in this process.

Tend and Befriend Experiment:

The jury is still out on all of this and in the coming years we will likely get much clearer on how all of this works. Who knows, this may work for men too! Sharpening your tend and befriend skills may be a good antidote for stress. Maybe that is why social networks have been exploding lately, especially among woman. Next time you feel stressed, try it out. Tend to some people around you that can use your help, get together with some trusted friends or explore what your friends are doing on facebook. Then take a breath, pay attention to how you feel and see where it takes you.